Hydra-

STILL DOLPHIN WHISPERER, possibly fish whisperer also. Because I had not had enough salt water and rubber tubing, we went to Hanauma Bay Nature Preserve and snorkeled on our second morning in Hawaii! And then we came back to our hotel and worked, but let's focus on what's important here: TURTLES. 

More turtles! Closer! More disapproving-looking! Also, sweet fancy Christmas, FISH.

I have since gotten developed both underwater cameras, from days one and two, and while day one has some winners, day two is a solid... wash. Hanauma Bay is pretty shallow, like 6-8 feet, and a lot of that is taken up with coral, which makes it more like 3 or 4 feet. And there are waves. The end result is beautifully turbulent, sandy/cloudy water swirling around fantastic coral shapes. It makes for a tremendous experience; it does not make for terrific pictures, alas. To move some of them from the abstract-art category, I had to use "Enhance" from iPhoto. I expect the hipster cred from the resultant Instagrammation to earn my frequent flyer miles; but now you can see!

To start, behold, the scenic parking lot!

Hanauma Bay has you watch a safety briefing video - not safety for you, but for the reef. The take-away is supposed to be, "Look, but Don't Touch." I'm all good with that, though my desire to grab on to a turtle and ride it while burbling "woohoo!" into my snorkel is a dream I have not completely excised. (That said, observations thus far show that turtles are not really a riding sort of creature so much as a sitting-contemplatively-and-admiring-as-it-bobs-up-and-down-in-the-surf kind of creature). The video is required to gain entry to the park, so we watched it, with a herd of other tourists, many Japanese (video was in English only, no subs. Do not know what the park was expecting, but I am guessing they didn't get complete compliance from all present. My own inadvertent noncompliance is described in what follows). We walked down a path very reminiscent of the slope at the Giant's Causeway, with similarly spectacular - although COMPLETELY different - views of the bay. 

 

At the bottom, we were greeted by what I'm told is a throng compared with the six people on this beach 45 years ago, but what I thought was a really reasonable number. It was a gorgeous day, so I was surprised we weren't more overrun. 







Or, I could use Panorama, as God intended:

What was super awesome, and leads me to believe my whispering talents cross special (speeecial) lines, is that a couple of times I was completely surrounded by fish. All different kinds of fish! (I am an equal opportunity fish cloud employer). When you are surrounded by these colorful admirers, however, and the waves are cheerfully slopping you back and forth between large rocks with spiky denizens lurking in them, the admonition not to touch anything (including said spiky rocks) becomes a source of not-quite-anxiety. In such shallow water (when you're not supposed to touch the bottom because it is alive), it was most prudent to channel the flounder, and indeed, I floundered spectacularly!

Look at this grumpy dude! I am all, "If you didn't want company, you shouldn't have approached a wallowing land animal and gotten all up in its grill." (Yes, it's a fish, and I went there with "grill." If you did not expect this, I can only assume you are a poor internet wanderer who ended up on this page by accident after a Google for "fish whisperer." Welcome, new friend!) 

This yellow guy was a lot more coquettish. (People who are locked into the gender binary would interpret that to mean that in fact, this was a lady fish, but some of us are more enlightened than that, thankyouverymuch. I choose to be flattered by this fish and this fish's attention).







This was the most bizarre fish I saw the whole time. Alas, the camera fails to do him justice, even with the post-production aid of the magic "Enhance!" button. (Please picture an entire panel of the comic that is my life taken up with the word ENHANCE! in the style of the Batman POW!). Those light blue stripes and the yellow on the snout practically fluoresced, and the white parts were actually translucent!

These were so funny: they have these little fluffy yellow fins near their tails that look like snapdragons, and they were all over the place, and much more respectful of personal space than CERTAIN OTHERS.

 I'm looking at you.

 This is unfortunately the best shot of the most awesome fish I saw all day. It was about as long as my forearm, its colors were deeply saturated, and when it gnawed on the coral, I could hear it chewing. 

It was also damned fast, and I made the noble choice not to snorkel recklessly after it, scattering caution and small children in inner tubes to the winds.

 
The little guys on the left were bros, I could tell. The purple on the darker one is a bit lost, but it was gorgeous. The one on the right just looked very anxious the whole time. Not sure if it was because I was there, or it was a condition.

So! Hanauma Bay!

On our way back, we stopped in the fancy-pants area of Hawaii Kai and ate at an Italian place right on the lagoon (shoulda got a picture of that, but what did I photograph? FOOD).
 
This is TJ's lasagna. It was delicious by all reports, and the handy-dandy refrigerators in our roomses allowed him to enjoy it for dinner, too.

 This delicious plate had tomatoes and bacon and chicken and basil and good stuff. I hope you admire the restraint I demonstrated in the application of Parmesan. Also my modesty.




Then we worked! Inconsistencies rectified, slides produced, another day saved.

Join us next time for the continuing tale of Excruciating Burnination and also, perhaps, some hiking.